. . . About The Smiths

Yes, it's a lovely moment in the Smith family.  On the left is Jessica.  Jessica is proudly displaying her award-winning photo of her dad (pictured center) digging up their neighbor's lawn when he discovered they were tapping into their stream and stealing their water.  Dad, in the plaid shirt, is showing off his arrest warrant, issued by the Sheriff's Department of Fredrick County. 

Dad was arrested for trespassing.  When he was taken in, it was discovered that he was living a double life.  Somewhere in South Carolina, he has a second family.  It is also rumored that Dad likes to wear women's underwear.

Mom, pictured at right, is oblivious to all of this because she pounds down a fifth of Jack Daniels every night.  As far as Mom is concerned, Jessica and Dad are both hallucinations.  High-pitched, shrieking demons borne out of a terrifying alcohol-induced fever dream.

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