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Posts for the date of Friday, October 04, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 8:17 AM |
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It’s rainy and dreary today and I can’t think of a thing to write about. I could tell you how I almost had satellite TV but my apartment complex squashed it, but that’s stupid. I should be happy with what I have (no Tech TV though . . . who can be happy without a daily dose of Leo LaPorte?). I could complain about the fact that there’s condensation on our air conditioner, but I don’t know how to explain it.
Or, I could tell you about the guy who’s in my basement fixing the crack in the foundation. But how boring is that? I mean, come on. It’s a friggin crack. The only thing amusing about it is the fact that it is the company’s slogan, “A dry crack is a happy crack.” Yeah . . . Sounds like a proctologist.
Even the kids have been pretty normal the past few days. Nothing too exciting going on here. The weekend is coming up and I don’t think we have anything pressing to do, except laundry and cleaning. I could write about that, couldn’t I? Do you want to know what’s in my darks pile? Probably not.
I could tell you how I sat rapt, watching a TV show designed for two-year-olds this morning. But you’d make fun of me. (I’ll take on anyone who makes fun of The Wiggles! Come on. I dare you. It so happens that The Monkey Dance is one of the most brilliant songs ever written.)
So, what does that leave me with? Music? Movies? Stuff? Things? I could wax philosophical about something, but there’s nothing I’m feeling philosophical about.
Nope. It’s all pretty boring here. I have projects to work on, both paid and personal. I have kids to play with, both big and little. I have a wife. Only one of those, thank God. And she only comes in one size.
So, see? There isn’t really anything to talk about today. Just a normal, boring, rainy day. And I kind of like it that way. It’s muggy in the house since I don’t have the air on. But other than that . . . Today isn’t too bad. Lots of work, but Monk is on tonight and that makes me happy. Then Saturday is movie night and Sunday Sopranos. Can you beat that?
Single people with no children may not reply to that question.
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Posts for the date of Thursday, October 03, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 9:56 AM |
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Oh the things I do for coffee. We ordered coffee from Gevalia Kaffe because we’d get both the coffee and a new coffee pot (which we don’t need) for free. The way we figure it, we never look a gift bean in the mouth. Or something.
Well, I’ve discovered how completely spoiled I am. With my newfound love for our little local shop, VJ Coffee & Teas, I cannot drink this new Gevalia. VJ is fresh and rich and full-bodied, like a Playboy Playmate (think about the analogy and you’ll be fine). Gevalia, while I would have found it good four months ago, is gross. It’s bitter, oily and tastes stale. Plus it gives me the burps. VJ does not. In fact, VJ does not irritate my gastrointestinal condition in the least. Gevalia awakens it like Persius and the Kraken.
So, I apologize to Stan the Coffee Man at VJ for cheating on him. I did it for the coffee maker. And, I have to admit, that Gevalia did not sing Sinatra songs to me while giving me beans. Nor did they put a little extra in the bag for me, like you do. You’re a good coffee man Stan.
Yesterday, while driving the kids home from Gert’s sitter, Matilda taught her to do the most amazing thing. Truly amazing. I was so blown away by the little one’s talent at this that I immediately called mom to share the moment.
She can now say “uh-oh.” This is added to her rapidly increasing vocabulary, which includes her stunning, heartfelt rendition of “Bye-bye” or, in Gertie language “ba ba.” Apparently she only does hyphenated words. Her next will be “atmospheric re-entry.”
She toddles around the house saying “uh-oh” at any given chance. Sister says it, baby responds. Mommy says it, baby responds. Kitty says it and we call the exorcist.
She even appears to understand the context, which is quite stunning. Yesterday, while throwing her food on the floor at dinner she would exclaim “uh-oh!” as every bit of her beloved meat stick hit the floor.
The only downside, that I can see, is that now I constantly think there are accidents occurring in the house. I hear “uh-oh” from someone and I come running.
What’s really amazing is hearing this little voice come out of the little ten-month-old body. Her words are so big, but her body is so small. Everything new thing she does is so deliberate and done with such care that it consistently causes me to pause and wonder at the rate her little brain is growing. Each step she takes is taken with caution. She lifts her pudgy little leg so high with each step it looks as if she’s walking through a cow pasture trying to avoid the cow chips. And she chews on the “uh” of “uh-oh” like William Shatner trying to say “Sabotage”.
I’m concerned about her mother, however, who was so excited about this new mental development that she’s seizing Gertrude’s sponge-like ability for language by trying to teach her Elvish, from Middle-Earth. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea though. This morning when I asked Gertrude is she wanted another Ochie-Oh she said:
Neledh Gorvath 'nin Ellerain no i menel,
Odo'ni Nauhírath ne rynd gonui în,
Neder'ni Fîr Fírib beraid fíred,
Ęr am Morchír ned morn-orchamm dîn
Ne Dor e-Mordor ias i-Ndúath caedar.
Er-chorf hain torthad bain, Er-chorf hain hired,
Er-chorf hain toged bain a din fuin hain nuded
Ne Dor e-Mordor ias i-Ndúath caedar.
I took that as a "no."
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Posts for the date of Wednesday, October 02, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 9:22 AM |
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I apologize for the lack of updates these days. I’m terribly busy with work. Paid work, not the fun kind that I enjoy doing. This week, thus far, has been nuts.
I look over the people I do work for and I’m sometimes amazed that I’m able to get it all done. Granted, I’ll be doing work at 9 p.m. and on the weekends . . . and through to 1 a.m. sometimes. But, I’m able to work all these insane hours for a variety of different people, with different expectations and I’ve been able to do it.
In a way, I’m kind of proud of it.
For the moment, though, I have to chide my wife. We both went to the doctor today and just combined appointments and went in together. Well, my lovely wife goes on to tell the doctor all about my sleeping problems.
“He snores and then sounds like he can’t breathe.”
”Do you do this Gary?”
”I don’t know. I’m asleep.”
”He feels like crap all day and he doesn’t feel rested in the morning.”
”Stop telling my secrets to the doctor! He’ll think I’m not healthy!”
Well, she sold me down the river. Now I have to spend an evening in the hospital sleeping for an audience to check for sleep apnea.
Damn her.
Well, at least this command performance is something I feel comfortable doing.
In fact, I think I’ll go practice now.
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Posts for the date of Monday, September 30, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 8:21 PM |
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Good evening. I am writing in the evening. I like to say evening. Wasn’t there a Led Zeppelin song called “The Even Song”? Even so, it’s fun to say “even.”
So, I had a busy day. In the publishing world there is this document called “The Hot Sheet”. A hot sheet is Marketing’s way of not doing any work. They have editorial write the hot sheet and they give it to advertising who writes the ads based on the information contained within the hotsheet. When the book sells 10,000 copies on its first day, Marketing takes all the credit. Marketing is a bunch of doped up monkeys who should be whacked senseless with garden hoses.
(Not you Pam. Seriously, talk to my wife and you’ll find out what I’m talking about.)
I don’t really have anything against the marketing department. Specifically, I don’t have anything against the marketing department I’m working with now.
HOWEVER, the marketing departments I’ve worked with in the past have been a bunch of useless morons who played “what if” games.
“What if we gave out candles with our logo?”
Well, people would melt our logo.
“What if we put our logo on a whistle?”
Uh. Annoying.
“What if we gave out a heart shaped key chain and our tag line was ‘Get to the heart of the matter?’”
No.
“How about we use sandals as a marketing trinket? We’ll put the logo on the bottom and any time our customers walk through the sand they’ll leave our company logo!”
Right.
So, only one of those up there is made up. All of the others have either been said or actually executed. Sad, isn’t it? The marketing departments I’ve been associated with are obsessed with trinkets and trash. As if passing out useless tchotchkes are going to make people say, “MY GOD! X COMPANY IS THE GREATES THING SINCE THE BATTERY OPERATED VIBRATOR!”
Whoops. I suddenly got angry about something. Sorry about that. I simply intended to illustrate that I was busy today and instead I insulted three companies and an entire profession.
Actually, it felt pretty good.
Weekend was great. Kids were great. I finished the story for the short film. I think it turned out pretty good. It’s a rough first draft. But I’m looking forward to hashing it out with the rest of the group.
Next task is to edit my manuscript and finish the website. I like publicly stating my monthly goals. Makes me accountable to someone. Like, oh, everyone reading this.
Please don’t hurt me.
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