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Posts for the date of Friday, February 01, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 4:03 PM |
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An oldie but a goodie:
Last week my wife set up a slumber party for my daughter and her friends. Tonight is the slumber party. Yesterday she "realized" she had a bridal shower to go to this evening. Being too late to reschedule the sleep over, I am alone in the house with a group of six-year-old girls.
At this point I'm unsure how many there are or if any of them are mine. They move through the house in an amorphous swarm, leaving a swath of destruction in their path. Sometimes it gets so quiet that I begin to get scared. But, then, one of them ventures forth from the swarm to tell me that she has been mortally wounded by the insensitivity of one of her elementary counterparts. After a brief discussion about conflict management, I send the poor, cherubic child back into the fray, to fend for herself. "Go little one," I think, "may you survive another day." But the healing doesn't last long. Shortly another girl comes out to tell me that the first little girl just told her that I thought she was prettier than the others. I didn't say this, I merely told her to remember that she is special and unique. Stupidly, I try to defend my position. I state that I like all of them. They are all special.
It doesn't matter. The mob is turning on me. They're all wielding Barbie dolls and some strange craft project that I had them do, that went horribly awry. Raising my arms above my head, as if I am about to proclaim something truly Earth shattering, in a booming voice of authority I say, "I am going to my office to . . . WORK." Their minds, clouded by a summer of swimming and humidity cannot grasp this word. To say such a word before school begins is blasphemy in their eyes. Appalled, they scattered.
I sit here now, a prisoner in my own home. I don't dare step out into the hallway. The amorphous mob has moved on to other tasks, but I know they may turn at any moment. I haven't seen the cat in a while. I pray they haven't dressed her up. The cat had very little dignity left. It's quiet. Too quiet. I know they are plotting to capture me, tie me to a chair and paint my nails. They've tried this once today. Is that a war chant I hear coming from my daughter’s room?
Help me . . .
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Posts for the date of Thursday, January 31, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 9:52 AM |
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I know it’s been a long time since I’ve updated the site, other than links. Sorry about that. I’ve spent the last week setting up my business, so I’ve been busy. Thus far I’ve picked up a fair amount of work. Not bad for one week in business. I’m working to improve that over the next few weeks by sending out query letters and getting my portfolio out to local and national businesses, publishers and magazines.
I’ve also been working on a book proposal with a friend. We’re going to go over it this weekend and hopefully get it polished into final form. Then it’s off to an agent and we’ll see what happens. I honestly think this book can sell. Let’s hope. If it does, it means we’ll have opportunities for several other books we’ve been talking about. My fingers are crossed.
Eventually I’ll also post a piece I’ve been working on about the evolution of “Dad Humor.” It traces dad jokes from the Neanderthal times of “Pull My Finger” to the modern times of “Pull My Finger.” As you can see, dad humor hasn’t changed much.
Mostly my time has been spent with a beautiful girl every morning. We cuddle and talk and eat together. She’s a very coy young lady and I have to admit she’s stolen my heart. Here’s her picture:
Yes, I’ve been playing daddy every morning. Unlike other Mr. Moms, I do shower and shave.
Being a full-time dad has been a blast. This little girl is perfect. She’s smiling and cooing all the time now. It’s amazing to see what was once this little helpless lump turning into a thinking being.
Plus, she’s happy!
Her big sister is completing her migration to total weirdness, as you can see below. She’s working on becoming the world’s first child contestant on Survivor.
That’s all for now. I have to go feed a hungry little baby. After that we’re going to play!
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Posts for the date of Wednesday, January 30, 2002
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Posts for the date of Tuesday, January 29, 2002
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Posts for the date of Monday, January 28, 2002
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posted by Gary O'Brien at 8:29 PM |
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Sorry I didn't update today. Very odd day. Good news is I'm going to pick up work tomorrow. Plus I'm working on a book proposal with a friend and his wife. But, best of all, I spent the day with a little girl who cooed, smiled, laughed and drooled. All in all, a good day.
In the meantime, check this out. Something is killing the frogs of England. I guess they heard the new Robbie Williams CD.
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